THE RETODDED BLOG

I'm So WASTED!

2009-03-03T01:04:00.001-06:00

I WILL NEVER SLEEP WITH A GIRL IN UGG BOOTS.

2008-11-26T17:07:00.003-06:00

I WILL NEVER SLEEP WITH A GIRL IN UGG BOOTS.*

There I said it, I don’t care how sexy you are if. If you are wearing ugg boots, a north face jacket and just spray tanned your ass orange you will never earn the privilege of nibbling on the Rocheford Sausage.

I work in Times Square and I everyday I see the same girl walk by over and over again all day long. Just look around campus and you will see her. (Or you are her, so no Todd’s dick sandwiches for your alpha kappa beta ass). She will have her Ugg boots tucked into her ripped American eagle jeans. Her slight muffin top gives way to her disgusting brown or black northface jacket.

Maybe today she’s feeling some extra estrogen in her fake tits and is wearing a PINK one! If she is feeling fat after a night of drinking she will wear her matching Abercrombie sweats with PINK written across her sophomore-sized ass.

Maybe I’m being mean to these twenty something shanks, but please ladies do something original. I rather hook up with a girl wrapped up in a shit soaked blanket then a northface jacket.

Ugg boots what the fuck? its in the name UGGly boots. Maybe if you were dressing up as Viking with Down syndrome for Halloween it might acceptable to wear these outside the house. Ugg boots are the Crocs of the winter. The only difference is that people who wear crocs know they look retarded.

Humans are not pack animals you don’t have to blend in with your herd to survive. You will not die if you take a fashion risk. Looking like every other girl just makes you common and boring. So no matter how much drunkenly make out with your slut bag sorority sister you will still be BORING. So stop giving off beat lap dances to fratty mc fraterson while listening to Lil Wayne and do something Original!

I’m Out Like them Ugg boots your wearing,

Todd Rocheford

*this does not apply if you are an aussie, because you invented UGG boots and only use them when trotting around the paddock or recovering from a hang over.

I'm a dick to tourists

2008-11-24T16:36:00.004-06:00

is it just me or do only stupid people come to visit new york ? “Where is does Rachel live?” “I want to go to central perk!”

Sometimes I can’t deal with there stupidity and I just have to do something terrible.

The other day on the subway about 8 British would not shut up. “oh look olly that man looks just like 50 cent!” “oh pip bought 15 I love new york shirts!”

luckily one of the kids got off on the wrong station, so the other kids began to scream and freak out. “no! stop the subway pip got off on the wrong station, we have to go back and get him.”

Seeing a golden opportunity I chimed in “its too late 23rd street in the most dangerous part of new york, no need to go back he’s already dead”

The kids began to tottaaly feak out “oh god save the queen! pip will never get to play cricket for enland!” I just basked in the glory of the chaos I created.

I really hope pips still sitting there at 23rd street waiting for his friends.

Barack VS PALIN (mac v.s. pc spoof)

2008-10-17T12:53:00.001-05:00

The PARTY WIZARDS

2008-10-14T11:54:00.001-05:00

2013: John McCain Is DEAD!

2008-10-14T11:53:00.003-05:00

Averaged sized penis disorder

2008-10-14T11:53:00.001-05:00

Hipster In A Box!

2008-10-14T11:52:00.001-05:00

Top 5 Reasons Canada SUCKS! by SLASH FALCON

2008-08-15T23:24:00.001-05:00

Just Friends Claymation!

2008-07-12T09:22:00.001-05:00

being just friends just sucks

Mini Me Sex Tap, Leaked Extended Version! NEW!

2008-06-28T23:06:00.001-05:00

The Manly Guide to the Internet! Google, Facebook and More!

2008-06-21T19:44:00.001-05:00

Satanic Ipod Hack!

2008-05-27T07:29:00.001-05:00

THE SATANIC IPOD HACK!

Satanic Ipod Hack!

2008-05-27T01:42:00.001-05:00

Satanic Ipod Hack! this is so crazy! Is Steve Jobs Satan?

read more | digg story

Homer The Boy With A Boner

2008-05-20T01:36:00.000-05:00

Click To Play

Ask An ALpha Male #8

2008-05-17T22:24:00.000-05:00

MAN PERIOD

2008-05-12T22:01:00.000-05:00

Ask AN Alppa Male #7

2008-05-07T21:21:00.000-05:00

Alpha Male #6

2008-05-07T21:20:00.002-05:00

ASK AN ALPHA MALE #5

2008-05-07T21:20:00.001-05:00

ASK ALPHA MALE 4

2008-04-14T21:59:00.001-05:00

ASK ALPHA MALE 3

2008-04-14T21:58:00.001-05:00

This Makes Me Giggle. Stick Figure Ignorance

2008-04-14T21:55:00.001-05:00

check out http://www.youtube.com/user/seanster897

for more funny vids

ASK AN ALPHA MALE!

2008-04-08T22:15:00.001-05:00

be sure to ask lots of comments!

Uncle Pet's Play Time

2008-04-06T23:37:00.002-05:00

I love this series. so good. check out http://www.sonnyboo.com these guys are great there site has free tools and great videos. major props.

ALPHA MALE GET SEXED VHS BOXED SET

2008-04-06T23:19:00.001-05:00

ALPHA MALE BREAK UP

2008-04-01T08:27:00.002-06:00

learn how to Dump a Bitch like a real man!

Every One You Meet At Uni #2

2008-04-01T00:09:00.003-06:00

TSB MAGAZINE RULES!

2008-03-29T19:54:00.004-06:00

If your a Man who like to bone hot babes then you will love this website. Mike Stoute and Bobby Rio are the real life Johny Tenders and Slash Falcons. They where kind enough to feature Alpha Males Guide to woman so check out website!
TBS MAGAZINE!

ALPHA MALE GUIDE TO WOMAN

2008-03-23T00:52:00.004-06:00

What makes retodded giggle.

2008-03-07T23:25:00.002-06:00

Check out this video by paul walterhauser, I find it really funny.

now i know why my cousins moved from vegas it was just to much fun.

Check out more of his movies at http://www.stepdads.info/

The FuTure of Corey Delaney

2008-03-05T02:29:00.002-06:00

My first Movie back in OZ! The future of Corey Delaney. Corey Delaney has to be the biggest tool who has every lived. Find out what happens to the party boy when the party is over.

Every One you Meet At Uni

2008-03-05T02:25:00.004-06:00

Magic Hugs!

2008-02-29T06:31:00.003-06:00

Every One's favorite Gay couple Sean & Tim brown are at it again with Magic hugs. They have a sweet website www.magichugs.com Sean & Tim are good at making movies really good, they actually know how to use computer programs, unlike me who uses a Gas powerd video camera and a steam powered mac. They out there movies there really funny guys.

D-DASH MAN!

2008-02-24T21:05:00.001-06:00

If your Retodded Fans I'm sure you have watched the hollywood intern videos and rember D-DASH MAN! witch is Drew Mitchell. Drew is awesome. He is like my dislexic father who lets me sleep on his coutch and play with all his cool toys. Drew is an actual professional so you will be impressed with this.

I COME FROM A LAND DOWN UNDER!

2008-02-24T20:44:00.000-06:00

Ive been away from the sweet glow of a computer screen for quite some time. Im back in the wonderful land of OZ. I whent up the coast and met the uliment alpha Male RAY. Ray is a legend in all ways. He forced me to drink mass amounts of beer and only refered to me as seppo and yank. Had a tattoo of the xxxx Man and the names of two women who werent his wife on his arm. I felt like a bitch. So im back at UNI Canberra and it is amazing. O-Week was truely hetic in allways. The crop of fresher girls this year is quite tasty. On another note. I'm gonnna start using this blog to suppot other movie makers so Check out vivalaal a local aussie from perth.

Retodded vs Fat Fourth Graders

2008-01-16T22:08:00.000-06:00

I'm Visiting my Family in Boulder CO, the vagina of Colorado. Why is Boulder the vagina? Because it's full of douche bags. Such as the Rich Hippie Douche who keeps it real by eating $27 dollar to-fu soy gyros, Drinking $7 ORGANIC WATER (Yes, I really saw organic water, It's much Healthier then the water the make in factories with H and 2O molecules) and Driving an SUV because he goes "Off Roading". Yuppies who are out of touch with reality have children it's scary. My cousin Sam begged me to come and visit his fourth grade class. I didn't have a choice after he told me "when I grow up I want to be like you Todd". insert aaa's and ooo's here. This is the same mouth that said "I don't want to be handsome, I want to be ugly that way girls will leave me alone, That way when I get old girls won't try and nibble on my Peg Leg". After I met the Sherk-ish girls in his class I understood why he might want a few scars. On the day of my visit to his class Sam told his teacher "Your not aloud to date my cousin Todd." apparently he was worried she would steal my attention away from him. As I walked into elementary school a familiar smell whiffed up my nose. It was the smell of Mac and cheese, Rubber Balls and kids with body oder. Walking into Sam's class room was bizarre, I hadn't been in a fourth grade class since... well fourth grade. Kids turned there heads toward me and began to whisper. The first thing I noticed was that The Fat kid epidemic has really gotten out of hand. All of the girls in Sam's class where the size of The Macho Man Randy Savage after a ten year KFC chow down. Not only where the forth grader's Un godly greasy but they where also demented. "Sam If you tell him about my crying corner I'm gonna Kill you" shouted a nine year old Rosie O'Donnell. The Bell rang and we headed to the cafeteria where I was attacked with some of the most random statements I have ever heard. "You have Small Ears, I like that" "Have you eaten a cane toad?" and the one that really took the cake "Your not very Tan for an African" WHAT?! I just stared at the little porker. African? I was so confused but then I remembered I was in Boulder, Where only rich white people who drive Prius's live. I retorted "I'm Actually an Albino". I chilled with Sam's Crew and sipped some on some chocolate milk. We talked about Sponge Bob, Transformers and how stinky girls are. We stayed in for recess and built a giant bloc temple for sacrificing dolls to the mighty god Zoltan. The recess bell rang and it was time for me leave. I said good by to my fourth grade homie's and rolled out of the school thanking god I grew up in 90's.

Slash Falcon Guide To Parenting

2008-01-14T12:09:00.000-06:00

I'm Pretty much an expert on parenting. Kids + Food = Poop. Thats the basic equation for dealing with kiddies. I meet alot of Douche Bags in my daily life the only thing that iratates me more than the D-bags is the fact they will breed someday. I will write more on this subject later, I'm off to lunch with my grandma. Until then enjoy Slash Falcons guide to parenting.

Emo & Opto My First Comic

2008-01-12T16:09:00.000-06:00

Obama VS God

2008-01-10T18:12:00.000-06:00

Who is greater Barak Obamam or God?

ReTODDed V.S. The State of Illinois

2008-01-09T12:25:00.001-06:00

I wasn't always the hottest shit that Illinois had ever seen, Actually I used to be the biggest piece of shit this town had ever seen. The first three years of high school blew so bad. Being a quirky art kid with a funky homemade hair cut, Day glow shirts and a love of disco music wasn't exactly normal in rural Illinois. I used to leave condoms around my room so my mom would find them, that way at least someone would think I was getting laid. Me and Kyle where mad at god. Why? Because we did not live in California, We weren't rock stars and we where hard pressed to even see a booby let alone touch one. When God gives you lemons you punch God in the face and demand to be famous. Ok, I admit are logic was pretty much completely fucked up, But hey what can you expect from 15 year olds raised by MTV. Eggs, Toilet Paper and Fireworks where are only forms of salvation in white trash paradise. Shooting bottle rockets from Jake's moms minivan at a young republicans house is still fresh in my memory, the smell of sulfur, Blink 182 blasting from ever speaker and breaking ever traffic law as we drove off into the night. Unfortunately all good things come to an end. A bottle rocket fight in the park was the last straw my mother banished fireworks from my house. Therefore Team 217 (Kyle, Jake and Myself) was forced to leave city limits, just out of my mothers grasp. We saw what looked to be the perfect place, An empty corn field. Who could we piss off in the middle of a empty corn field? ZIP! POP! BOOM! We had the time of are lives basking in the glow of fire raining from the sky. A FLASH of light, We turned are heads to see a ghostly pick up galloping toward us. If horror movies have taught me anything it's that every one who lives in the country is a deranged chainsaw wielding cannibal. Leather Face's Pick-Up was growing closer by the second. We dashed toward are cars, Jake's Mini Van and Kyle's Jeep. I hopped In the Jeep. We sped toward the exit. Satan's truck was 50 feet from the exit and closing in fast. Jake's van plows through the exit, missing the Truck by about six inches. Jake was home free. The devils pickup was determined to catch at least two souls that night, and drove head on toward Kyle and I. We looked head on into the evil trucks brights. We had two choices. A.) Stop and wait for the Satanic Redneck's to have there way with us or, B.) U-turn and drive through the corn field. I took us about nano second to pick B. Kyle put the pedal metal we sped through the corn field, The white trash truck hot on are tail. JUMP, POW, CRUNCH! The jeep bounced around the cornfield. We turned left, we turned right but nothing could shake the satanic pickup. We saw are escape, a road that headed toward town. Only one problem a four foot ditch stood between us and freedom. "I think we can hop the ditch!" kyle exclaimed. "Are you crazy!" I screamed. We did not have a choice so we headed for the ditch at full speed. SLAM! The jeep crashed to the bottom of the ditch. The ditch turned out to be twice as deep as we predicted. "oh SHIT" kyle jammed his foot on the gas,. VROOM! The wheels spun spitting smoke into the Air. We where fucked, The jeep would not budge. Blue lights, red lights and sirens. Three Country Sheriff squad cars pulled up to the scene. Me and Kyle looked at each other are lives where about to end. The Fattest Hillbilly cop in the history of man mind barges out of his car with pistol drawn. "Exit the automobile with your hands up". The other two police casually stepped out there squad cars. Kyle and I exited his jeep with are hands in the air. Sweat oozed from my every pore, My heart raced and I could have swore my balls shot up into my intestines. "What the fuck do you think you boys where doing?" belched lard loving sheriff. "Um" we mumbled, "Stare at that fuckin post!" we frantically looked around? what post was his sub human talking about? "What are you boys retarded!" the country hog motioned toward a post across the street that said "No Trespassing". "Can you fucking retards read?" we turned back toward the sheriff and began to say "yea" When a blood vessel suddenly popped out his forehead. "I never said stop looking at the fucking sign boy" he bellowed. He made us stare at the sign for the next 15 minutes and while the other cops investigated the crash and talked to rednecks in the pick up. "You boys got city plates, What fuck you city slickers doing out in the country, think you can just come out hear and runa muck.?" Screamed the Kentucky fried cop. The human cops asked politely for are information. Todd Rocheford, Age 17..." I recited. "17! Boy you ain't going to no little boy jail, Your going to grown up jail and there they gonna do things to you ain't gonna like!" The cream filled cop shouted with glee. The sane cop shook his head, rolled his eyes and asked for the remaining fireworks. Kyle marched to his car and gathered about 12% of his fireworks and handed them to the cop. The cops moseyed back to there squad cars to fill out paper work. Kyle immediately pulled out his cellphone called his father a prominent attorney. The to truck came and pulled the jeep out of the ditch, The sane cops assigned us a court date and we left the scene. As we drove off cracker barrel cop exclaimed "Y'all boys will think twice before coming to the country!" On the way home I called my Mother who was thrilled to hear about are adventure, so much so the world could hear her screams of joy though my cellphone receiver. The powers of flight, X-ray vision and super sonic hearing are nothing compared to the power of Kyle having a lawyer dad. In few phone calls all of are serious charges where dropped and we where sentenced twenty hours of community service. It turned out that being charged with trespassing was the best thing to ever happen to us. Are adventure spread around Central High like an std, with every teller adding more embellishment. "I heard Todd stole a cop car!' "Did you hear? Kyle punched a cop in the face and then hooked up with his wife!" the legend of are drive earned us the "Bad Boy" reputation that every woman desires. The moral of the story is break the law and chicks will think your cool.

Nimbin the Amsterdam of Oz.

2008-01-09T00:08:00.001-06:00

Me and Pete's road trip had to be one of the unbelievable trips of my life. To my displeasure one of the tapes got fried. The really sad thing is this tape had SUPER HOT SWEDE GIRLS on it, God they where so hot. Sweden is like God's little joke,since Sweden is a frozen wasteland with 24 hours of darkness in winter, God had to give the blokes something. AMAZINGLY SEXY WOMEN, drool falls on to my key board as I think about them.
Me and Pete teamed up with the sexy Scott Freya and a naughty New Zelander Amanda,(pictured above) We hit the beach, bar and jungle and a amazing adventure. I really hope I can get the tape to work, on the tape I threw a jelly fish on a babe, Stole a skinny dippers clothes and a 14 hour train ride. Witch really really sucked balls. We where on are way to Byron Bay during schoolies (sort of like American spring break) so I assumed there would be hot babes on the train for me to hook up with. I was so convinced, I was gonna be joining the centimeter high club (mile high club on a train). I could just see it so clearly... I step on to a train, A endless supply of booze appears In my hand, Hot blonde bikini girls recognize me from retoddedmovies.com, Take off there tops and drag me to the bathroom. O, it was amazing. Reality sucks balls. I step on to the train, No one under 65 is on the train. Well, since theres no hot babes I can at least get drunk! NO! The bar would only let you have two beers max and each beer costs SEVEN DOLLARS! I was fucked, 14 hours on a train with no booze and no babes, I wanted to curl up in the bathroom and cry. We sat behind a obese vampire looking grandma who FARTED THE ENTIRE 14 HOUR TRAIN RIDE. I swear to god, she just kept farting and farting. What do you say to mutant grandma who won't stop farting? I wanted break the overpriced beer bottle on her gelatinous head and use it as a shank to dig out her spleen. 14 hours pasted by and we get to Byron Bay and guess what? Are hostel was closed. I was so tired I just pulled out my sleeping bag and passed out on the sidewalk, I din't give a shit about anything at this point. My brain had been fried by fart fumes. Living in the Hostel was swell, New hot babes from far away lands ever day SWEET. I partied at place called cheeky monkeys where bro's and hoes get so pissed (aussie for drunk) they dance on tables. The beaches where rad, We boogie boarded all day. One day there was a shark, witch kicked ass. In OZ they chase sharks with helicopters! I swear to god, a helicopter was flying 5 feet above the water chasing a shark away from the beach. Why did I major in Film? If I only knew I would have majored In Flying Shark Chaser. After a few days in Boe-Day-Ious Bryon we hit the road for Nimbin. Check it out in the Vid.

Why Are There So Many Douche Bags In Coffee Shops?

2008-01-05T23:39:00.000-06:00

On the 8th day god created coffee. Coffee is the only reason I bother living. But now I can not enter a coffee shop with out having the urge to beat people to death with a earth sized muffin. You've seen them before sitting in the coffee shop ALL DAY LONG. Are they homeless? Could The Douche not pay rent because he blew it all on a vintage Mickey Mouse t-shirt? A Hipster Douche does nothing other than ruin my life and work on his thesis paper. Art was awesome. Now it sucks balls. Hipster Douche Bags ruined art. Back in middle school if you could draw bug's bunny smoking a blunt you where the shit. By The end of 3rd period every kid in Miss Murphy's English class was rocking a naked Elmer Phud. Having Photo Shop on your Mac dose not make your a artist, no matter what Steve Job's says. What the hell do Hipster Douche's do on their Macs all day? How long does it take to change your Myspace pic and review a Russian ska band? A Hipster Douche spend 99% of there day writing in there live journal about how they are going to create the next world changing Song/Novel/Sculpture/Ironic T-shirt, But because they never leave the coffee shop this genius work will only exist as mental masturbation.

Myth Busters: Is A Girl From My High School A STRIPPER?

2008-01-04T11:15:00.000-06:00

It's 11pm Me, Kyle, Jake and Paul (Team 217) are enjoying a few buds in the Man Cave. When one of us drunkenly mumbles about a girl from are high school who has become a stripper. To protect the name of the un-Innocent i will call this girl Roxxxy. Roxxxy wasn't exactly stripper material. I took advanced algebra with her, she was in every school play and I even danced with her at homecoming. If the rumor was true then I would have payed top dollar to dance with her again. Central High was a ghetto cess pool. 1/3 of the students drop out and by senior year AT LEAST 15 girls in my class had gotten pregnant. But Roxxxy was a goody two shoes in high school. There are big time sluts in my class with names like "Triple Threat", but I had never even heard of Roxxxy doing anything earn a naughty nickname. Being upstanding citizens we felt it was are civic duty to investigate. We piled in to Jakes hoopie and hit the road. We drove to the SHITTY-IST part of town abandoned buildings, liquor stores on every corner and crack heads running free. We did'nt see human life for miles until we got to the Silver Bullet. The Parking lot was jammed pack with pick up tucks, El Caminos and Linkcons made of bondo. After a relentless search we found a distant parking spot under the glow of neon erotic dancing sign. We made are way to the promised land. The bouncer must have been Stone Cold's bastard cousin he was HUGE. He checked are ID's, Gave us day glow wristband's and with a big toothy smile said "Y'all Boy's have Fun, This in the one bar under agers can't drink in". Drinking was the last thing on are minds. Are pupils dilated and are mouth dropped as we stared into a world of Beauty, Joy and G-Strings. Boobies Bounced, Legs Spread and Truckers grinned like 7 year olds on Christmas day. In this world of excasty we almost lost sight of the mission to find Roxxxy, we searched the club taking periodic brakes to watch topless gymanists contort there poll sculpted bodies. Dark brown hair and fair skin strutted in the distance, Was it Roxxxy? her hand held that of a man in a Nascar jumpsuit he sported more chins than a Chinese phonebook. His expression was that of a player who had just spit god like gamed and picked up Jessica Alba. Nascar boy spun his head around and gave thumbs up his cronies as he pranced VIP room. "Is that her" Team 217 snapped out of titty hypnosis and looked toward the VIP. "Where?" "I Can't See Her" It was to late what might have been Roxxxy had gone to land of double digit dollar bills. It was a stake out, we had debunk the myth or find truth. We stood silently basking in the glow of freshly tanned skin. Kyle's eye's came to life, a smile on his face i had not seen since childhood. "This is the best thing that has ever happened to me! It cuts out the middle man! Normally I would have to pay for 5 dinners to see some boobies but now for five bucks at the door, I can hundreds of titties! It's just more economical! I'm never going to a normal bar ever again!. A year's pass is only 20 dollars!" Kyle spoke like a man who had just found the lord. A quirky stripper in a red dress began to chat to us. "Can i have your hat?" she asked me. I thought, "who the fuck do you think you are? your a stripper! I'm not giving you shit, your hair probably has crabs or herpes in it". I glanced at her and retorted "No! not unless you give me your clear heels" Mid sentence a fair flash came from the VIP. It was ROXXXY strutting in a skimpy top and G-string. I looked at her and smiled and she looked excited and ran toward Team 217. What the hell was i gonna say to her? Wow cool job, Must meet a lot of neat guys? what came out was "Wow, your a stripper now" we chatted about random crap like how she is doing this to pay for college and how her old teachers come see her "dance". Being a attention whore Quirky Red Dress stripper grew jealous of Roxxy. What happened next i still can't believe. Quirky red dress pulled off Roxxy's top in mid converstaion and began to suck on her nipple. Are eyes shot to touge vs nipple contact. Roxxxy didn't seem to notice and continued talking about being a theater major. As Roxxxy went on about the joys of the stripper life style,as Quirky Red Dress moved south and did things i will not mention on the Internet. Roxxxy continued to talk about something... I couldn't even pretend to pay attention at this point. after bizzare converstaion sun set fell on paradise and we said good bye to Roxxy. We hung are head high as we drove off into the night with story to tell.

Todd Where Have You Been For The Last Year?

2008-01-03T14:47:00.001-06:00

Upon returning to the cess pool of Champaign IL, I have constantly bumped into people from high school, middle school and my secert orgy club and they all wanted to know what have been up 2. Well, i journeyed to the land down under the wonderful land of OZ. For the geographically retarded im talking about Australia the wonderful land mass south of Asia. I am going to the university of Canberra and will be graduating from there in June. Hooray for me! Australia is really great, amazing i love it more than a crack head loves stealing TV's. Australia is sort of like England's Texas. If England and California had a bastard child its name would be Australia. The first thing i learned in OZ, is that i am piss weak. A 5ft Aussie girl can out drink the most burly American biker. God, I miss Aussie girls. I find the vast majority of American girls to be well, boring. "I love ugg Boot and Northface jackets! Did you watch the America's next top model last night?" Aussie girls on the other hand are Krazy with a K. They wear clothes no one in America has seen since 1984, chug passion pop and make my heart melt. What did i do in Australia other than go down under? Party excessively, Get hit on at Gay Marti Gra and I was in a play with an Ex girlfriend who wanted to rip my balls off and megalomaniac director who wanted to control my life. I went to class and learned how to be True Blue. I ate Kangaroo meat and expericned Vegemite... ug, I still can't get the taste out of my mouth. This video will explain Vegemite

One of the Best experiences was Peter's and I's adventure of up the north coast. Check it out in my travel video where you will see Ninjas, Singing Hobo's and armpits getting waxed

I declare war on Douche Bags!

2008-01-03T13:07:00.001-06:00

I have come back to champaign IL, Douche City USA. The amount of the Douche Bags in this town blows my mind. The U of I is the center of the Douche Bag universe. Green street makes me want to shit a brick all over myself. An army of pop collars, north face jackets and greek letter sweaters. God why have you forsaken me. Going to campus bars is about as fun as getting kicked in the nuts 18 times and having a monkey rip out your ear drum. Watching the U of I vs USC game was fun. Mid West Douche Bags vs West Coast Douche Bags. I guess the west coast breeds a stronger Douche Bag.
I was so inspired by the Douche Bags of my village i decided to create art.
A CURE FOR DOUCHE BAGS!

I have Declared war on the Douche Bags I will ridicule them until they learn the error of there ways and no longer pop there collars.

Gordita BoNita

2008-01-03T12:48:00.000-06:00

I whent to LA, witch was Boner Inspiring. Drew and Jenna let me sleep on there couch and nibble on their treats. Oh the hot babes of Los Angles, To bad 26 year old hot babes are not into 20 year old college students who sleep on couches and act like a 7 year old. But I found this amazing mask witch inspired the worlds greatest movie gordita bonita.

WHY THE F*** CAN'T I MAKE THIS WORK

2008-01-03T12:15:00.001-06:00

all want to do is add a cool little picture why wont it let me! JESU save me!

THE FIRST POST!

2008-01-03T12:00:00.002-06:00

I had to jump on the newest band wagon. Blogs! hooray im only like 4 years behind. I thought bloggin it would be a great way to spread my retoddedness to the world.